prose & praise

 

life is short.  too short to focus on failures and also to remain in them. too short to not seek the truth and to keep believing the lies. too short to not spend your time on things that matter but also to neglect the things that give joy and your deceived heart believes to *not matter*. too short to not love others and to this, i say, God's working on it.  too short to not forgive especially when you've been forgiven. too short to care whether or not anyone's reading your words especially when you've set it out to be, ultimately, an exercise in discipline. too short to chide yourself for never being consistent and too short to never try if it's for your own good. too short not be disciplined and too short to never rest because you insist on being *too* disciplined. too short to stay with the wrong person (seriously, find someone who loves you *no matter what*) and too short to take advantage of the right one (very important! show them every day you love them!). too...

you are unrecognizable to me. versions of which i need a color dictionary to understand. your timeline undefined though diachronic your heartbeat asystolic though enduring your name a rose in unforgiven memories arising out of mimicked melodies i am forever unfazed unamazed unstained by what you have unattained with inlaid rubbish jewels of high brow thoughts and low level meaning you’re monochrome, darling & i’m aurora borealis the burnt orange glow out your window at five in the afternoon learn from old age wisdom “god, what have i become?” a ghost of narcissus drowns your folly frowns counting crowns with coffee spoons it's ending soon, it's ending soon a premature polaroid of violet gardens indigo burdens as every heart hardens dreams unrealized lies hyperbolized love cauterized you can only hypothesize  purposes to uncut film scenes reasoning of violent beings justice in unborn beginnings why you’re broken, darling.  hatred in bloom breaks the stars and the moon i am ...

okay, so nothing justifies a second post today except for tomorrow being a holiday.  THIS SONG has been stuck in my head the past few days. love the guitar intro. can't play it, but it's wicked.  the lovely people of the internet pointed out in the comments section that the line "i don't want to live like this, but i don't want to die" actually originally shows up from VW's older song "Finger Back", and you're welcome for the lyrics video, because most of VW songs are 67% incomprehensible: also, i think only this band can pull off using the words "etiquette", "exonerating" and "eviscerate" in one song, while casually incorporating numerous biblical references like it's nobody's business. also, is it technically plagiarizing to use a lyric from an old song even if it's your own song because yes, plagiarism works in mysterious ways, especially when you're in school and i feel like Ezra being an E...

 2017-10-17 we put way too much emphasis on superficial things and we value what's WORTHLESS. how do i move away from valuing the worthless, turning my eyes away from them, to focus on the right path? how do i balance my passions without getting distracted by things that ultimately don't matter? how do i control my emotions such that i don't compare myself to others? what is the root of this tendency to begin with? is it truly low self-esteem? or, digging deeper, perhaps disappointment in what i have not accomplished? and if so, couldn't this be solved simply by focusing on what is to be accomplished and setting out to accomplish it?! what is HARD about this? is the root of my procrastination fear? that, perhaps, by not accomplishing them, i will always have a reason to blame myself for lack of success. but what is success anyway?  how do i balance what's important in THIS life and the next? how do i align my passions with God's plans for them? how do i go about...

real talk: where does self-righteousness come from?  also: where do people base their morality on (i.e. what's right and what's wrong) if they do not believe in God? where do we get off calling one person good and another evil? where do we get off pointing blame at others? where do we get off, judging everyone we don't agree with and collectively calling them awful for their actions?  the gospel has stripped me of all these rights, so i really need to know. God's words said i have sinned against the holy God and fall short continuously every day of His glory, and this revelation basically says my motives, my intentions, my actions ought to be based on what God has done FOR ME. i forgive because i am forgiven, love because i am loved, show mercy because i have been shown mercy, give grace because through Christ, grace abounds in my life.  so then...i want to know.  a person without God: where do you get off being morally superior over others and preaching your goodnes...

just a truth i wanted to share this afternoon... feelings are important; extremely necessary, in fact, as to not be mistaken for a robot that's barely human. feelings are important and should not be disregarded. but do not be under the control of your feelings. because they are mutable, deceitful, often liars/not of the truth. feel as much as you can as you are able. but do not let feelings be what lead you. let capital-T truth lead you. "that's why you have to get yourself under the control of Scriptures!" this video has transformed my mind this week and i've already linked the full sermon in the last post, but here's a clip: and again, the link to the full sermon : https://www.ligonier.org/learn/conferences/is_there_life_after_death/in-the-likeness-of-his-resurrection-the-bodily-re/ shalom!