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old & new thought-paths

 2017-10-17

we put way too much emphasis on superficial things and we value what's WORTHLESS. how do i move away from valuing the worthless, turning my eyes away from them, to focus on the right path?

how do i balance my passions without getting distracted by things that ultimately don't matter?

how do i control my emotions such that i don't compare myself to others?

what is the root of this tendency to begin with? is it truly low self-esteem? or, digging deeper, perhaps disappointment in what i have not accomplished? and if so, couldn't this be solved simply by focusing on what is to be accomplished and setting out to accomplish it?!

what is HARD about this?

is the root of my procrastination fear?

that, perhaps, by not accomplishing them, i will always have a reason to blame myself for lack of success.

but what is success anyway? 

how do i balance what's important in THIS life and the next? how do i align my passions with God's plans for them? how do i go about overcoming my passions to accomplish what He wants?

submission. obedience. trust.

i know the answers to all the questions, yet i ask them anyway, not because the answers are not satisfying, but because i know i don't want to take the next step.

fear then.

of what?

of reaching the point of no return.

then what?

then there are no more excuses.

--

[context to below: in my bible study group, we were asked to fast and pray for God to expose the unbeliefs we cherish in our hearts and to determine the root of them]

2020-09-02

what unbelief do i hold? unbelief in the goodness of God. 

the root of the unbelief (i.e. why?): because if i believe it fully, my responsibilities become real. if i believe fully that God heals, God saves, God redeems, then, i have no excuse to not do my part. to not be faithful. 

in other words, i am accountable. 

--

TODAY

so then God reveals to me that not much has changed, and at the same time, everything is changing as He shows that, we ought to hit rock bottom, if necessary, in order to repent. 

i am not yet at rock bottom.

and i don't want to hit it.

so then, the only step that remains is to have no excuse and pursue only that which is worthy. 

this is how i know everything is changing: the full realization of accountability.

Psalm 101:3-4

I will not set before my eyes
    anything that is worthless.
I hate the work of those who fall away;
    it shall not cling to me.
A perverse heart shall be far from me;
    I will know nothing of evil.

2 Corinthians 5:9-10
 

So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. 
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, 
so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body,
whether good or evil.

don't stay left behind, friends. 


forward only is our direction. even if we have to crawl on our knees, move forward day by day, step by step, chapter by chapter. one foot in front of the other. you will make it because He who began the good work in you is faithful and is able to see it through to completion.


also, He is worth it.


2 Corinthians 4:17-18 

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

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