on being an unknown author...

...just remember that the famous reclusive writer j.d. salinger would've envied your anonymity. that thomas pynchon (of V., The Crying of Lot 49 and Gravity's Rainbow) is probably still in hiding to protect his. 

the appeal of self-glorification by way of discussing the minutiae of your daily life that is prevalent in our culture remains a mystery for many authors whose only desire is to write without their own lives being eviscerated. in the words of salinger again:

"I'm tired of being collared in elevators, stopped on the street, and of interlopers on my private property. I've made my position clear for 30 years. I want to be left alone, absolutely. Why can't my life be my own?"

see, we make a grave mistake when we obsessively (key word!) identify with the owners of the content we consume and think we are One with Them and wish we could call them up after consuming their work. for one thing, in religious circles, that's called idolatry punishable by God above. for another, it has no end except self-destruction because those who wish to retain their sanity hate to be glorified and so they will inevitably disappoint, and even if they did not wish to retain their sanity and in fact loved revelling in the love of others, they will still inevitably disappoint, because, from your perspective as the idolizing incumbent, you will never ever be good enough for them so long as you keep them enthroned in the inner sanctum of your heart. this is the reality of the brokenness of humanity, and from the perspective of spiritual knowledge not privy to many who are not "spiritually discerning", this is the consequence of MISPLACED LOVE, i.e. idolatry, because the God above is a consuming fire, a jealous God (Deuteronomy 4 in the Bible), and He doesn't let worship of anyone other than Himself go unpunished. are you tracking with me? 

to return to the original point, with regards to (w/r/t) being an unknown Human Being who claims to want to be a Writer: 

REVEL (enjoy / celebrate / delight / get great pleasure from!), for now, IN THIS: in being unknown! in the fun of writing for YOU and not for anyone else (the fruit of this, i am slowly discovering for myself). don't be desperate. be a WRITER. don't sell yourself short and only desire to be noticed for mere existing and not even for any of writing achievements. don't chase after fame. it's depressing! don't whore around your God-given talent for a teaspoonful taste of fame. you're better than that, man. david foster wallace said it best, and this is quoted from d.t. max's biography of wallace who said of the author:

"Wallace was particularly allergic to those who dreamt of fame instead of achievement. He took every opportunity to point out to young writers the snares of the sort of early success he had had. He wrote [to his friend] Washington that whenever younger people asked him how to become an author his reaction was to be 'polite and banal.' He pointed out, 'The obvious fact that the kids don't Want to Write so much as Want to Be Writers makes their letters so depressing.' To one such enquirer, a young man in his early twenties, he gave some unbending advice: 'Take this time to learn to be your own toughest critic and best friend...I wish I had...Concentrate on the work, loving it and hating it and making it the best and truest expression of yourself it can be; the publishing stuff will come.'"

and because this was DFW whom i greatly respect because of his incredible confident self-awareness and accuracy in writing, he added, "I'm mostly saying this to myself at 22, 23."

the irony and/or hypocrisy of this post, and all of life's things in general, are never of course lost on me. i know very well how the internet works and how leaving this post to be read Out There is exactly the kind of thing salinger would never do (and dfw might possibly frown upon but also consider doing in the most anonymous way possible). but i'm no salinger, who also once said, "if you're lonely, as most writers are, write your way out of it." i don't check the "lonely" box, you see (as far as i know anyway), so i got nothing to write my way out of. i don't write because i'm lonely. i write because i love writing, because it's the best and truest expression of myself through which i can shine my light to the world. 

so i guess in the end, i'm mostly saying this to myself. the reverse of wallace who said it to his younger self, i've discovered this truth way before when i was younger but i am re-discovering it now. sometimes it takes a while for truth to sink in and that's ok.

here's something funny to leave you with: