Skip to main content

regenerated

 this week, i felt, for the first time in my life, truly...BORN AGAIN. 

it started with the movie "American Gospel: Christ Alone" (on Netflix til November!). then I began listening to the True Gospel series from the HeartCry Missionary Society (find it in Apple! one day, i will link to it from here). 

so thankful for the life of Pastor Paul Washer. in two episodes (just a little under 3 hours) the Holy Spirit through his life made me see who i am, truly, without God: utterly, completely DEAD. in the third episode, he says of the story about Lazarus, "dead men can't hear. did you know that? and dead men can't stand up? and dead men can't obey commands. dead men can't even hear God. so not only did Jesus *command* Lazarus to come forth, He gave him LIFE to come forth."

apart from God, we are not just nothing. we are not just wicked. we are not just undeserving of all His mercy and grace. we are utterly dead. we are useless. we are garbage. we cannot do anything at all because dead people can't do anything at all. God saw nothing in us to save us. according to His own word (Proverbs 17:15), it is an ABOMINATION in the eyes of the Lord to justify the wicked! that is why, with Jesus on the cross, He had to be JUST and punish sin, pour out the wrath we deserved on His own Son, in order to be the JUSTIFIER of those who have faith in Jesus (Romans 3:16). and that word, righteousness...how incredible, how lovely, how beautiful, how precious. RIGHTEOUSNESS: to do right by someone. 

God did right by HIMSELF. He HAS to punish the wicked. His own Law demands it. but He also HAS to love the wicked, because He IS love. and the only way to do right by Himself on all accounts is through the life of Jesus Christ. Wow.

God is much blasphemed nowadays in what we call "the Church". and that movie, American Gospel, gave me so much comfort during and after watching it. not only because for the first time the gospel as the Bible declares it was presented in the most accurate and sound of ways. BUT BECAUSE, in the end, God made me realize, that i HAVE the Truth, as He intends the Truth to be. I HAVE Jesus Christ. the way, the truth, the life. 

and wow...what an incredible gift that is. what a privilege to know the Lord God Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, the author of my life. i can boast in nothing except in Christ crucified. 

this is a short post, and i intend to come back to it, hopefully, and link some more recommendations so it's easier to access them, but for now, i'm praying for everyone out there who's struggling with the concept of God, and with their relationship with God, and those refusing to even acknowledge God. for now, God is working. God is working in my life. and i'm utterly amazed by Him. 

Shalom!

P.S. Keturah, i see youuuuuuu! i'll reply to your thousand comments soon!

Comments

  1. Keturah LambAugust 21, 2020 at 10:28 AM

    Your P.S. Hahahahhaah! Been loving stalking your lovely thoughts!!! ;D

    MB: keturahskorner.blogspot.com
    PB: thegirlwhodoesntexist.com

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

on being an unknown author...

...just remember that the famous reclusive writer j.d. salinger would've envied your anonymity. that thomas pynchon (of V. ,  The Crying of Lot 49 and Gravity's Rainbow)  is probably still in hiding to protect his.  the appeal of self-glorification by way of discussing the minutiae of your daily life that is prevalent in our culture remains a mystery for many authors whose only desire is to write without their own lives being eviscerated. in the words of salinger again: "I'm tired of being collared in elevators, stopped on the street, and of interlopers on my private property. I've made my position clear for 30 years. I want to be left alone, absolutely. Why can't my life be my own?" see, we make a grave mistake when we obsessively (key word!) identify with the owners of the content we consume and think we are One with Them and wish we could call them up after consuming their work. for one thing, in religious circles, that's called idolatry punishable ...
2 comments
Read more

the importance of being fun;

writing this from the mindset of defeat --   to begin this epic blog adventure, i had drafted this whole spiel about beginnings and endings months ago, about how i fail greatly at the latter (ending things) and succeed with flying colors at the former (beginning things), and there’s something about endurance and also, something deep.    alas, that original blog post draft is now enslaved by weebly, because i have forgotten the password to weebly, and that account is tied to an email address that i can no longer get into because the password to that email was saved on my phone notes and my phone is defunct, so i can’t access said password, which means i can’t access the email, which means i can’t do a Forgot password with weebly...   so scratch that.    i’m writing this from the mindset of defeat, thinking, how does one dig one’s self out of the pit of utter defeat that one has dug for one’s self that begun with finding out that the last agent she has querie...
2 comments
Read more

free

it's uncomfortable how quickly the heart can plunge into self-doubt at the mere presence of greatness. even trying to write out the thoughts in my head at the moment has me questioning the intention behind every word, and i cannot stand how self-limiting self-doubt is. being afraid of being judged and once judged being afraid of never being good enough and in turn we curl back into our carapace (hello, new word i just learned today), CTRL-T to a new tab to double-check every word used was used correctly just in case  somebody actually comes across this little corner of the internet and judges you for the incorrect use of carapace and it interrupts the very stream-of-consciousness style you're trying to achieve by simply writing out the contents of your consciousness without thinking about it, no editing, kerouac-style, and achieving nothing but self-deception because you know deep down inside that none of this is off the cuff and everything was somehow, subconsciously, premedit...
1 comment
Read more